Sorry, Not Sorry: Apocalypse Alert In Nagpur As Number Of Swiggy Delivery Boys Will Soon Cross The Number Of Residents

The study predicts that at current rate, the nightmare would be a reality by 2021.

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The predictions made by a study has worried the civic officials of gruesome apocalyptic end Nagpur could be heading towards.

As per the study done by a group of scientists, the city is facing serious zombie apocalypse as the number of Swiggy food delivery boys in the city is on the rise. The study says that the rate of this increase is terrifying and is not looking to relax anytime soon.

Scientists have said that the number of Swiggy delivery boys will cross the number of citizens in Nagpur.

“Right now, people can see only a few dozens of delivery boys standing in front of every other food outlet. But if one takes a look at our study, they could see the actual number of delivery boys per square kilometre, which is already on dangerous levels,” said Lallan, one of the scientists.

Talking about solutions to this issue, another scientist who refused to be named explained, “There is no possible solution to the problem as this is the only kind of employment in the current times. And as people won’t recede from ordering home delivery of food, the situation seems to have no end, but one: Swiggy Apocalypse.”

We caught a bhakt boasting about the situation. “Government’s developmental policies in MIHAN has ushered in huge employment opportunities for the youths.”

Poor lad didn't even realise that he wasn’t making sense!

The study predicts that at current rate, the nightmare would be reality by 2021.

Sources from the government tell us that the ‘bhagva’ colour uniforms of Swiggy delivery boys only serves their purpose.

They said, “It is free and good marketing.”

Opposition has other fears.

One of its leaders said, “The government might have to bring in a resolution soon to create a new community, which might even lead to demands of reservation. With greater numbers, they might even form a third front making it tough for us in the upcoming elections.”

The city mayor remained unavailable for comments. We tried talking to some of the delivery boys sitting at a bus stop, but they were busy playing PUBG, and only responded on the voice chat.

Brace yourselves, Nagpurkars! Apocalypse is coming!

P.S. This article is a part of a series called 'Sorry, Not Sorry', which is about fake news reports containing satire on everything that's Nagpur. Each and everything, published under this series is a work of fiction. Our intentions are not to hurt anyone’s sentiments or spread rumors or bring disrepute to anyone (person, organization or an idea) living or dead. If at all it appears so, it’s either completely unintentional or thoroughly misinterpreted by someone.  

Title Image Source: indianmoney


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Ajinkya Bagade (WRITER)

Ajinkya Bagade writes for Reacho. If you wish to get in touch with them, drop in a mail at reach@reacho.in

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