How horny can one be? This story gives you the answer. I know, after reading the title you must have thought, how can anyone do that? But that is true. Of all the bizarre stories posted on Reddit we found this extremely zany story of a man trying to fornicate with a COCONUT.
Yes! You heard it right, this Reddit user called coconutthrowaway69 (nice) wrote up an extremely nasty story in a Sub-Reddit called r/TIFU or "Today I Fucked Up."
This man wrote a throwback story, of about eight years ago, when he was living in northern Mozambique. He explained how the weather was there at that time and his mom at the time was buying a lot of coconuts.
Anyway, around 8 years back I lived in Northern Mozambique, a coastal southern African country with quite a warm climate. My mother at the time was going through a 'health nut' phase and only buying foods she deemed healthy enough. One of these was coconuts. She would buy several coconuts a week to use in food from the local market.
Here is how he started banging the coconut.
One day I hear that my mother is going to be out for pretty much the entire afternoon. Horny me decides that it would be a fantastic idea to fuck a coconut. Honestly to this day I can't fathom why I thought that would be a good idea but my train of thought back then was clearly somewhat clogged.
I end up grabbing the coconut drill and through 20ish minutes of concerted effort end up creating a hole large enough for me to stick my porker into. I decide it requires some lube and grab the nearest slippery thing (some butter) before shoving it into the coconut followed shortly by my meat. I fuck the coconut and it actually feels pretty damn good so I blow my load, shove the coconut under my bed and continue about my day.
He didn’t even remember to clean it and about a week later he got to know that the thing was full of maggots.
For the next week the coconut is my saviour. Whenever I want to get off I simply take it out and fuck it in its delightfully tight hole made better each time by accumulating volumes of my semen and butter acting as a lubricant. It's heaven.
About a week and a bit after the initial coconut fuck (I had been using it pretty much every day since then) I begin to notice a few more flies than usual as well as an odd, unpleasant smell about my room. Must be the coconut right? So I decide that I'll fuck it once more before I throw it out and get a new one.
Worst mistake I have ever made.
You see, the reason for the increased number of flies was that the coconut was evidently, in hindsight, a nearly perfect place to lay eggs. As I penetrate the coconut one last time I begin to feel a strange wriggling sensation. Puzzled, I pull my cock out to discover that it is COVERED in rotted and moldy butter and semen and TEEMING WITH TINY FUCKING MAGGOTS. They were wriggling all over my dick head and some were even trying to force their way up into my urethra.
So this story is literally the worst thing ever because this is the Internet and what people read, they get influenced by.
And now literally dozens of others are claiming that after reading the story, they also tried to diddle with a coconut.
Turns out, I'm allergic to coconut water, and my dick swelled up and block the hole.
I panicked and ripped my cock out, which cut it horribly.
So here's the lesson: DONT FUCK COCONUTS
TLDR: Didn't listen to two posts, fucked a coconut while allergic to coconut water, fucked up my dick real hard.
So he failed to measure it right, this is what happened-
Not all be a pictorial explanation.
This is simply horrible.
Title Image: Nea