Disclaimer: The ‘fakeness’ of Marvel fans in India as censured in this article has no relation whatsoever with their knowledge of the expansive canon of comic books OR their ability to rattle off all the movies of the Marvel Cinematic Universe in the correct order. Pinch of salt recommended.
With that out of the way...
You know this species. The kind that writes ‘Geek’ or ‘Nerd’ in their Tinder bios without knowing the meaning of either. FYI, neither status is achieved by buying a pair of thick-rimmed “nerdy” glasses.
These are people who have found a purpose in their lives after watching Iron Man (2008)- that to look down upon everyone who does not know get all the JARVIS jokes.
These are people who possess multiple Captain America (specifically the shield motif) or Hulk Tshirts.
These are people who diss others for not getting all the Easter Eggs in the Marvel movies- or find “references” where there are none..
The writer kids you not. These people have the mutant ability to find Pokemon and Digimon references in Guardians of the Galaxy.
These are people who just assume that women wouldn’t know Tony Stark from Rickon Stark.
These are people who orgasm at every Stan Lee cameo (which everybody knew was coming).
I mean, get a grip on yourself people!
These are people who dismiss Raj Comics with a sombre reverence for Marvel, without having read either.
These are people who make fun of those who can't pronounce Mjolnir...
...unlike them who are actually brown people of Scandinavian origin.
These are people who get into arguments with any specimen wearing a Batman T-shirt because how else will you let the universe know?
These are people whose rooms, bags, laptops and bodies look like a merchandise store for Marvel.
Because liberalisation and US wala cousin, biatch!
These are people who, when watching sequels, consider it their divine duty to inform anybody within earshot of the entire plot of the preceding movie- lest His Majesty the All-Powerful Stan Lee get upset and (gasp!) stop making cameos.
These are people who stick to their seats like they’ve sprouted roots there, at the end of a movie.
Not so much to watch the mid-credit scenes but to let OTHERS know that a mid-credit scene is coming. Said people also look for mid-credit scenes in DC movies.
How to not be a fake fan: Buy a ticket, grab a tub of popcorn, and watch the movies in peace. Just don’t be a douchebag.
Title image: blogspot