Success is what we all seek and success is what seems to keep avoiding us. Our easiest and commonest response to such thing is to blame everyone and everything possible. It is easy and it is comforting. Comforting because then we get the feel that we have done it all ‘perfect’ and the responsibility of our failure rests on some other dirty shoulders.
Self-belief is good. Very good indeed. But it is a definite problem when the belief crosses the area of faith and enters that of Narcissism. The line is indeed a thin one and very easy to cross over. When our ego starts telling us stories about ourselves that is when we start getting in our own way.
Self- confidence is said to be the most desirable quality for achieving anything. With the right kind of confidence we can even scale the mountains — and I mean literally scale the physical mountains along with financial, emotional and even spiritual mountains. This self-confidence tells us “I can do it”. At times it even tells us “you are on the right path — keep going even if others do not approve of it.” This is great and adds the wow factor to those who go from good to better.
But the trouble begins when we start telling ourselves “I cannot be wrong” and “I know the best”. And that is THE mother of all traps we can ever set up for ourselves. It is even bigger than telling ourselves things like “I can’t do it” or “this is so difficult”. The logic is simple. When we are in the negative mode people around us can boost us up and show us the way. But when we believe that we are the “be all and end all” of knowledge and understanding, we shut the doors to our mind from inside that cannot be unlocked by anyone from outside. In fact we not only reject help from others we become obnoxious enough to put down others around us.
But knowledge is unlimited and there is always so much to learn. There is simply no way that we can know and implement correctly everything that needs to be. Also to be successful we cannot simply bank only and only on the project related knowledge. Life demands so much more from us. There are relationships to be maintained, social obligations to be taken care of, family members to be attended to and much more. Our relatives and friends may not understand our projects but that does not make them stupid to other matters of our life. We constantly need help and support in so many ways from so many around us. If the initial success of our plans and projects make us high headed, we knowingly and unknowingly hurt important people around us and thus strike right at the base of our emotional, mental, financial and moral support system.
External influences and roadblocks would always be there. People and circumstances would throw challenges at us often. With humbleness and ever learning eagerness we can certainly overcome them with the help of friends and guides. However for that to happen we need to get out of our own way. Let the ‘I’ rest.
Dr.Sapna Sharma is a renowned Spiritual Counselor & Life Coach from Nagpur. Visit her website here.
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