How many times have you beaten yourself about that mistake you did?
How many times have you cut yourself some slack?
How many times have you let go of that major goof up?
And, how many times have you actually said to yourself, ‘It’s okay, don’t be so hard on yourself.’?
I’ll throw you for a curve now. Stop being so harsh on yourself. The way you beat yourself about every little thing, jeez, stop. You need to love yourself the same kind, the way you love your folks and friends. We need the kindness we extend to every known person and unknown.
Where to start, you ask? Here are a few tips and tricks that will help you when you need it the most!
1) Have A Positive Self-Talk With Yourself:
I know, I know! It’s the commonest thing you’ll hear. But it is foolproof, trust me!
My favourite is the one where you talk to yourself in the mirror and say out loud some really encouraging words, even if it is clichéd ones like “I can do this” or “I will give my best.” I just make you feel SO light and GOOD!
2) Indulge Yourself In Some Physical Kindness:
A pat on the back works and sometimes even a big bear hug to yourself! Kristin Neff, author of Self-Compassion: Stop Beating Yourself Up And Leave Insecurity Behind, told Psychologies that when your mind is flooded with streams of negativity, a simple gesture such as "putting your hands on your heart or cradling your face or your stomach — some warm, supportive, physical gesture — can often change your body’s physiological response; help you calm down so you aren’t so activated, and then it’s sometimes easier for your mind to follow."
3) Deep Breathing:
Focusing on breathing is a mindful way of becoming aware of your mental and physical self. That feeling when you heartbeats are full-throttle and everything seems crazy, just sit down and regulate your breathing. There are several breathing techniques and several apps to help you with them. You can experiment and settle for the one that works for ya the best!
4) Forgive Yourself For Your Failures:
Shit happens! Period. You’re not the one only. And it’s okay. I know moving on isn’t easy at all and that you’ll try and fail at it several times. But then at this one particular try, when you expect the least, it will work and your ship will sail.
We need to acknowledge that we are struggling with something and that means we are going to mess up from time to time. Sometimes, even all the time! The important thing is to remember that fretting over it and beating yourself about is absolutely NOT going to help.
5) Don't Compare Yourself To Others:
Damn this social media! It has literally taught us to compare ourselves with each and everyone on our friend list and even others’! What a one-way ticket to doom we are buying for ourselves!
You gotta know one thing, people will rarely criticize their demons, talk about their problems on such platforms. What you see in barely scratches the surface of what their lives actually look like. So the next time you say, ‘Oh what a life he/she has got,’ remember what I just said.
6) Record Your Many Achievements:
Buy yourself a pretty journal or make one and sit down and jot your achievements. From something as trivial as a certificate for reciting poetry in your kindergarten to the latest promotion you bagged! If it makes you happy, write it. And then of such days of gloom, read it out loud to yourself. That reassuring feeling is an unparalleled one!
PS: No kidding, but I’ve even written ‘Woke up early’ on my list!
After all, whether you want to admit it or not, you do deserve that kindness. That too from yourself before anyone else out there!
Title image source: kindnessbykb