Okay I am not a feminist, but here’s one for the husbands and boyfriends.
DO you GIVE freedom to your partner?
Wait, I have another question - What is the need for you to GIVE her freedom? Is she not free herself?
We confidently claim to be the ‘modern’ generation. Our clothes and language and material choices do scream of modernity but, are we really modern? I mean in our thinking and approach towards life?
So if you are an exception, don’t take this personally
When you fall for a girl, you have certain parameters in your mind. Interestingly most men wish for a modern woman. You wish for a wife whom you can proudly present to the society, with whom you can talk, who should be very attractive to you, she should be game for your definition of parties, and her attractive dressing sense is an added magnet for you to begin with. Her being educated is of course so very important for you.
Often once this alliance is formalized your vocabulary changes. What she should not wear, whom she should not talk to, how she should take care of the entire household whether she works equal hours as you or not. I often witness guys also telling there partner things like, “why did you laugh so much?” “How can you dance in front of so many?” “Sit down everyone if looking at you” “Why cant you dress up like everyone else?”
Then there are those “ultra modern” ones who believe it is their right to marry a girl of their choice in the modern world, but when their parents discuss dowry and huge expenses with the brides family they simply back of saying, “I cant hurt my parents!!”
You like to decide what kind of place she should work in, that she should not be casual with her work colleagues, that she should have outings only with your friends, and then when she fights you say, “I GIVE you so much freedom to work and you don’t value that”.
Really? Can you imagine she saying this to you? Obviously not, because deep down the garb of modernity we are still the same. A man is FREE but a woman needs to be GIVEN FREEDOM.
Reality check guys: What is your normal vocabulary:
1. I let her work/ Its her choice whether to work or not
2. I let her follow her passion/ She is very passionate about her hobby
3. Our family gives her full freedom/ In our family we all have a right to choose
4. I give her permission to be with her friends till late/ She loves to spend great time with her friend.
No need to share your answers with anyone, but certainly time to think.
Till the time your vocabulary is not free of: I GIVE HER FREEDOM, you are not modernized yet- Look for a partner who can match your thinking and can be the obedient wife you actually need. Believe me, life would be so much more simpler.
(Another one would follow for the girls soon)
Title image: Stylishwife
Dr. Sapna Sharma
Spiritual Counselor, Life Coach, Author & Speaker