99 Problems And Rishtedaars Are All Of Them: Things Only Relatives Can Say

Relatives in our lovely Indian society come in different forms and packages. Kind, proud, narcissistic, downright evil and what have you. The list goes on.

Problems, Relatives, Relatives Problem, Rishtedaars, Rishtedaar's Problem
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They say every man or woman takes human form for either of the following reasons: Penance for the karma in past lives or as a blessing for the good deeds done previously. Though this existential debate warrants a separate discussion, let’s just focus on one of the highlights of this life if you’re one of the people born in the first category, which is when you also need to repent for something that you did not choose to happen to yourself: Relatives.

And relatives in our lovely Indian society come in different forms and packages. Kind, proud, narcissistic, downright evil and what have you. The list goes on.

So, for now let’s just focus on those that really make us pray for instant death (for whom? You decide) whenever we come across them and the things they say!

1. On 10+2 Results And Subsequent Choices:

“Bechara! Bas 92% hi aaye?”
“Arre! Ye arts-warts me kya rakha hai? Teacher ban na hai kya?”

Problems, Relatives, Relatives Problem, Rishtedaars, Rishtedaar's ProblemSource: mm

“Doctor bano beta. Bahut paisa hai.” *Wink Wink*
“Haww! Maths nahi le rahi?”
“Maine to keh dia hai teri mummy se. Abhi padh legi to aage khoob aaram karegi. Haan!”

2. On The College/Institute Of Choice For Undergraduate:

“Usmein kyun admission liya? Usmein nahin mil raha tha?”
To parents: “Maine suna hai waha jaa ke bachche (with Lalita Pawar’s trademark on-screen sincerity) DRUGS karte hain!”
“Acchaaaa….hmmmmm….wo….hmmmmm”

Problems, Relatives, Relatives Problem, Rishtedaars, Rishtedaar's ProblemSource: Gagfire

“Mere chunnu ko to na *blushing* Lovely mil gaya hai.”
“Maine to keh dia hai teri mummy se. Abhi padh legi to aage khoob aaram karegi. Haan!”

3. On My Physical Features:

“Itni moti kyun ho gayi hai? Kuch karti kyun nahi?”
“Itna patla kyun ho gaya hai? Kuch karta kyun nahi?”

Problems, Relatives, Relatives Problem, Rishtedaars, Rishtedaar's ProblemSource: gifsec

“Beta tere baal itne jhad kaise gaye? Arandi ka tel lagaya karo”
“Pimples ke liye na, multani mitti mein 2 ande, besan, honey, sherni ka doodh, dragon-bone powder aur dracula ka blood mila ke lagao. Tumhare uncle ke bhi bahut saare the. Agar fayda nahi hua to mera naam badal dena!”
“Maine to keh dia hai teri mummy se. Abhi padh legi to aage khoob aaram karegi. Haan!”

4. On My Career Choices:

“Artist banega? Kya paint karega? Hoardings?”
“Beta ye writing-viting chhod de. Sambhal ja. Is sab mein kuch nahi rakha hai.”

Problems, Relatives, Relatives Problem, Rishtedaars, Rishtedaar's ProblemSource: beebom

“Teri didi ne to B.Tech kia tha. Ab to Infosys mein hai apna aaram se. Baaki main kya bolu!”
“Beta tum Army kyun nahi join karte? Tumhari health dekh ke lagta bhi hai. Karo beta 10 pushups mere saamne. Main sikhaata hoon.”
“Maine to keh dia hai teri mummy se. Abhi padh legi to aage khoob aaram karegi. Haan!”

5. On The Holy Grail Of Topics, Relationships and Marriage:

“Arre ab to tera hi number hai!” *Crushes and extracts lemon juice from my cheeks with her Scissorhands*
“Boyfriend! Wo kya hota hai?”
“Girlfriend! Wo kya hoti hai?”

Problems, Relatives, Relatives Problem, Rishtedaars, Rishtedaar's Problem

“What do you mean tujhe career banana hai?”
“Gay? Gay mhanje?”
“Maine to keh dia hai teri mummy se. Ab shaadi ko 6 mahine ho gaye hain. Ab 2-3 naati ke muh dikha de to hum Ganga naha le. Phir to khoob aaram karegi. Haan!”

Problems, Relatives, Relatives Problem, Rishtedaars, Rishtedaar's ProblemSource: Cartoonstock

Love them. Hate them. Can’t escape them.

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Shivansh Mishra (WRITER)

Shivansh describes himself as a Development Professional, writer, bibliophile, gourmand and a cinema lover, wrapped in one giant package. A fiction reader, he believes writing to be a medium of liberation and equally loves to write about both socio-political issues and movies, all with a tinge of satire. His favorite authors include Premchand, Vrindavanlal Verma, J.K. Rowling and Gabriel Garcia Márquez.

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